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有關Independent Writing 寫作,無論看過多少寫作理論和技巧,你在面對一個Independent Writing 題目時候,你就該處於“創作”的狀態。
在眾多失分原因中(沒有扣題,主題句不鮮明,不客觀,論證單一,用詞簡單,重複等等),最難攻克的一點是:細節不足! ! !

試著比較以下2種論述:

1)People in extended family can get more help than those in small family. People may meet different kinds of difficulties. So sometimes they need to consult to someone else. People who is in extended family can ask more family members for helping. For example , I lived in one extended family including many family members like cousins​​, aunts and uncles. Once I met a problem with how to choose a job. My family members give many useful suggestions. They have many experience to help me. Finally, the problem was successfully solved. If I lived in a small family. I can only get suggestions from my parents. So people will get more useful information from extended family than those who from small family.

2)拓展細節後:

People in extended family can get more help than those in small family. Extended family can contribute to improvement of our life quality to great degree due to our relatives such as grandparents, cousins​​ providing us with sincere help as well as encouraging us financially and spiritually. A person living in such complicated society has to face and conquer many difficulties and troubles, which results in various pressures. In such circumstance, if you have close and warm-hearted relatives from your extended family to consult, it would become easy to deal with these obstacles. For example, I lived in one extended family including many family members like cousins​​, aunts and uncles. Once I encountered a problem with how to choose an appropriate job among several offers given by companies, and in light of my lack of working experience, I felt confused and lost facing such situation. At this time, my grandpa suggested me to compare each detail about these offers, including future promotion or development, salary level, vacation, and distance away from home so as to select the best job for me. By doing so, I successfully chose ** as my first company to serve. …………….. . . So people will get more useful information from extended family than those who come from small family.

改寫之後,你會發現段落充實,飽滿,信息量足,言之有物。
總之一句話: 細節是王道!

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首先自我介紹一下……我考過4次托福(純粹愛好,第一次分就夠了)作文都是滿分,SAT作文也是滿分12分

今天就獻醜給大家點小技巧吧~

說在前面:三月份分享了沃頓/NYU兼職教授Alan Kerzner的關於中國學生如何駕馭美國課堂的文章很有啟發。

因為我詞彙、語法、句法實在是不行,所以走的寫作路線是純平民路線,沒有任何SAT詞彙,句法貌似只有定語從句,所以很簡單……英語基礎和我一樣低等的人也很好上手……所以~嘿嘿~

我不是英語高手,我只是作文帝

首先要搞明白的是,考試中的Essay永遠不是抒情文、記敘文或者文學作品,而是議論文,是表現一個學生邏輯思考、思想深度以及行文結構表達方式的載體,所以記住的是“重要的不是你的句法、詞彙,而是你的思想、結構。”

幾個注意點

1.不要用長句。

長句有兩個問題,一是中國學生水平不夠,很難寫出語法沒有錯誤、意思表達準確的長句,語法錯誤、幾個逗號連用、倒裝從句混合是經常的。二是看essay的人也是人,經常是那種大學生研究生,沒人願意看長句混在一起的文章,短劇更討人喜歡,並且表達意思更加清晰,準確。

2.細節要注意

出現My brother, friend的時候加上名字,出現university的時候要給上名字,給出事例的時候要給出時間地點人物,沒人願意看“我的弟弟去了一個大學,然後再大學裡交了很多朋友,後來去了公司裡那些朋友成為了他的財富”,而“我的弟弟Dan去了Upenn讀書,在學校裡認識了Jeff、Dennis等好朋友,而他後來去Google公司工作的時候發現了他們成為了自己一生寶貴的財富”比上面那句好了很多。實在要寫流水賬也要寫出細節和感覺。

3.瞎編要編的像

不解釋

4.自己的事例難寫,最好不要寫

5.積累,積累,再積累

下面就是926考的一題托福題,實在是想不出來考試時寫的每句話,大概簡短的還原一下當時寫的東西,希望有所幫助

It is more important for government to pay attention to health care issues than environmental issues, do you agree or not?

(題目,環境保護和醫療改革哪個更重要)

"Water and air are the sources of people's lives, and the bases of the world." This was said by the ancient greek philosopher Thales.(開頭引用是最簡單的,泰勒斯相信水和空氣是最重要的元素,相似的話說過,稍加改動就可以出一個quote)Looking at the dirty air in the sky, smelling the gross smell from Yantze River, I can't agree with him any more.(這就是搞笑的= =) The environmental issues are always the most important to a country, especially the country I live in, China.(可以適當點出我提出這個論點的原因,畢竟不存在完全客觀的文章,主觀因素客觀環境都要適當強調)

When the environment is becoming worse and worse, I have to say it is the most serious problem in this country. My junior high classmate , Anita, lived by the end of the Yangtze River. The industrial area is around there and all the factories pollute the water day by day. ​​Unfortunately she got cancer, like many people who lived there.(真人真事,默哀一分鐘) If the polluted environment wants to "kill" you, there is no doctor in this world can save us. Looking at her face in the funeral, I finally understood the importance of protecting environment.(真人真事要寫出細節和感覺,否則很難不像流水賬)

It is always early to improve the health care, but never the environment. My dad is the president of the city hospital, and he always tells me "If the government gives us enough money, this hospital can be the best one in this country very quick by hiring best doctors and buying newest equipment."(真人語言描寫,用他人的口說你想說的話) But we all know that the environment is always harder to save. After second industrial revolution in Britain, the pollution in Thames River became horrible. When the British government realized that problem, it took them tens of years to solve it.(用實例證明) Just like my mom always told me, " It's easy to make something dirty, really hard to make it clean again ."

It's kind of like the paradox, but many times, the environmental problems cause many health care issues.(一般考試都是二選一,有時候你會發現你選的那個其實可以導致或**沒選的那個,也就是說這點要是點出來的話,就更證明你的論點的正確性了) Many datas do prove that, the people who live in a good environment have better quailities of lives. In 1970s, LBJ, the president of United States , passed a proposal which was called Clean Water Plan.(真事,積累) It was made to make the water clean in the US, and it did work. The most amazing thing is that the datas show the numbers of patients in hospital decreased rapidly during first 15 years.(瞎編,有一定的事實根據) That does prove my point, the environmental issue is a important factor of the health care issues.

As I said, we do realize the seriousness and importance of the environmental issues. We do need a "Heaven" with clean water and air, green trees and beautiful mountains. The "Hell" with doctors and hospitals is always our last choice.(結尾很重要,搞笑、正經、引用都可以)

分享的經驗希望可以幫到大家

 

 

文章出處:太傻網  pplovejj512

 

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